It’s the uncontested opinion of a very small circle of my friends that we will never take a Christian leftist to the zoo. Aside from the fact that Christians have had a historical tendency to be thrown to the lions, there have been a few cases in which Christians have thrown themselves into the lion’s den. But this grisly reason aside, the reason we never take a Christian leftist to the zoo is purely selfish. It’s because he’s more likely to throw you to the lions, and then praise the Lord for making him better than everyone else.
This latent brand of leftism most usually makes an appearance when you’ve got to make a serious decision about your country’s survival. Then all of a sudden the un-neighborly neighbor begins spouting all kinds of scandalous things on Facebook about how God has not given us a spirit of fear and pretending to risk his life in reckless causes with minimal payouts at maximum expense. And there’s almost always a catch. The reason God hasn’t given him a spirit of fear because He’s given you one. And He has given you one because you are the person who’s actually being endangered.