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MEDICAL research 

usually sees us taking

a small step forward 

in understanding 

diseases, 

Dr. Keith reports for 

The U.K. Sun 

January 29th.

But there’s a danger that a

new study linking masturbation

and prostate cancer might set 

us back 100 years or so.

Because it suggests that

 “self-pleasure” may be 

bad for men.

So maybe those old-fashioned

fears that solo sex may cause

epilepsy, impotence, 

hairy hands, 

stunted growth and 

blindness were 

right all along.

.

Even now, 

when blokes are at their most tribal, 

they have a nagging fear their 

favourite pastime may be unhealthy.

Hence the terrace chant 

“The referee’s a w****r”, 

typically prompted by doubts 

about the official’s eyesight.

So what’s in this new research?

 A Nottingham team looked at 

sexual activity and the risk 

of prostate cancer.

And they found a link between frequent 

sex and masturbation in younger men 

and increased risk of developing 

the Big Prostate C.

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Their theory is that a man’s sex drive 

is dictated by his hormone levels. 

And hormones play a key 

role in prostate cancer, too.

So the higher your testosterone, 

they suggest, 

the more time you spend pleasuring 

yourself but the less likely you are 

to beat off prostate cancer.

Blimey. 

Does that mean all men should 

immediately be issued with 

a male chastity belt?

Of course not. 

Because, as ever, 

it’s pretty easy to pick 

holes in the research.

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For starters, 

it looked only at prostate cancer 

developing before the age of 60 — 

but that’s not a typical sample, 

given that most cases are 

diagnosed after that age.

Also, the study asked men to record 

information about their sexual activity, 

often from many years previously.

But you have to ask how accurate 

the average bloke is likely to be when 

reminiscing about sexual performance.

And the research 

found only a “link”. 

That doesn’t prove 

cause and effect.

After all, 

there’s a link between 

wearing red shirts —

 think Man Utd, 

Liverpool and Arsenal —

 and being near the top 

of the Premier League.

Obviously, 

the one doesn’t 

cause the other.

Even if the researchers’ 

hormone theory is correct,

 it doesn’t mean masturbating

 less will help.

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Because they reckon 

“frequent masturbation” is the 

result of “high” hormone levels, 

which leads to the cancer risk — 

not the cause.

And remember,

 it’s just a theory — 

there are loads more 

where that came from.

Still worried? 

Bear in mind that in the 

great scheme of things, 

a single medical research paper 

almost never changes anything.

As the boffins themselves admit, 

more research is necessary before

 you can start drawing conclusions.

And I know of at least two studies 

in the past five years which have 

suggested the exact opposite to the 

conclusions of the Nottingham group.

Besides, 

you can bet the whole prostate 

cancer story is a lot more complicated 

than just hormones and an intimate

 night with your hand — 

other factors known to affect 

the risk include genetics, race, 

diet and job.

Keep in mind the bigger picture, 

too. 

There may, of course, 

be benefits to masturbation. 

And I don’t just mean the obvious.

After all, 

there has been research to show 

that the more orgasms a man has, 

the fewer heart problems he is likely 

to suffer and the longer he 

is likely to live.

So I reckon this “hot news” needs 

some cold water pouring over it — 

unlike the average red-blooded male.

 

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