22MOON.COM
You can see the whole Earth from the Moon!

I masturdated for the first time a couple of years ago.

The stigma of solo pleasure had stopped me from starting earlier.

Since starting though, it’s hard to stop.

And frankly why would you want to?

Advertisement

Masturdation is the subtle art of self-gratification. But not in the sexual sense of the word.

“Masturdating involves going to a restaurant alone, sitting at a table alone, and enjoying a meal alone, all the while knowing that other diners in your vicinity are looking at you, feeling sorry for you, and most likely coming to the conclusion that you’re a bit of a loser,” writes Patrick McAleenan, in The Telegraph, London.

“The scene can be redrawn for the cinema or, when you’re feeling really indulgent, the theatre – but the reactions are always the same.”

The reaction is that you’re weird and must be a Nigel, no friends.