You can see the whole Earth from the Moon!

Evil must be outlawed!



Let’s All Surrender

Our Weapons – –

You First!



by Ann Coulter




April 8th, 2009




The rash of recent shooting 

incidents has led people 

who wouldn’t know an 

AK-47 from a paintball gun 

to issue demands for more 

restrictions on guns. 

To be sure, 

it’s hard to find any factor 

in these shootings that 

could be responsible — 

other than the gun. 


So far, 





this year’s public multiple 

shootings were committed 


— Richard Poplawski, 23, 





product of a broken family, 

expelled from high school 

and dishonorably discharged 

from the Marines, 

who killed three policemen 

in Pittsburgh.        

— Former crack addict 





Jiverly Wong, 41, 

who told co-workers “

America sucks” yet somehow 

was not offered a job as a 

speechwriter for Barack Obama. 

Wong blockaded his victims 

in a civic center in Binghamton, 

N.Y., and shot as many people 

as he could, 

before killing himself.        

— Robert Stewart, 45, 





a three-time divorcee and 

high school dropout with 

“violent tendencies” — 

according to one of his 

ex-wives — 

who shot up the nursing 

home in Carthage, N.C., 

where his newly estranged 

wife worked.        

— Lovelle Mixon, 26, 





a paroled felon, struggling 

to get his life back on track 

by pimping, 

who shot four cops in 

Oakland, Calif. — 

before eventually 

being shot himself.        

— Twenty-eight-year-old 





Michael McLendon, 

child of divorce, living with 

his mother and boycotting 

family funerals because 

he hated his relatives, 

who killed 10 of those relatives 

and their neighbors 

in Samson, Ala.        

It might make more sense 





to outlaw men than guns. 

Or divorce. 

Or crack. 

Or to prohibit felons 

from having guns. 

Except we already outlaw 

crack and felons owning 

guns and yet still, 


Wong got crack and 

Mixon got a gun.        

After being pulled over 





for a routine traffic violation, 

Lovelle Mixon did exactly what 

they teach in driver’s ed by 

immediately shooting four cops. 

Mixon’s supporters held a 

posthumous rally in his honor, 

claiming he shot the cops 

only in “self-defense,” 

which I take it includes the 

cop Mixon shot while the 

officer was lying on the ground. 

I guess Mixon also raped 

that 12-year-old girl in 


Clearly, the pimping 

industry has lost a good man. 

I wish I’d known him. 

I tip my green velvet fedora 

with the dollar signs all 

over it to him. 

Why do the good ones 

always die young? 


I mean. 


Liberals tolerate rallies 

on behalf of cop-killers, 

but they prohibit law-abiding 

citizens working at community 

centers in Binghamton, N.Y., 

from being armed to defend

 themselves from disturbed, 

crack-addicted America-haters 

like Jiverly Wong.        

It’s something in liberals’ DNA: 





They think they can pass a 

law eliminating guns and 

nuclear weapons, 

but teenagers having sex 

is completely beyond 

our control.        

The demand for more gun 





control in response to any 

crime involving a gun is 

exactly like Obama’s response 

to North Korea’s openly 

belligerent act of launching 

a long-range missile this week: 

Obama leapt to action by 

calling for worldwide 

nuclear disarmament.        

If the SAT test were used 





to determine how stupid 

a liberal is, 

one question would be: 

“The best defense against 

lawless rogues who 

possess _______ is for 

law-abiding individuals 

to surrender their 

own _______________.” 


Correct answer: 






We would also have 

accepted nuclear weapons.    





Obama explained that 





“the United States has 

a moral responsibility” 

to lead disarmament efforts 

because America is 

“the only nuclear power 

to have used a nuclear weapon.”        

So don’t go feeling all 





morally superior to a country 

whose business model 

consists of exporting heroin, 

nuclear bombs and counterfeit 

U.S. dollars, 

and of importing Swedish 


you yahoo Americans with 

your little flag lapel pins. 


On the other hand, 





the Japanese haven’t acted 

up much in the last, 

say, 64 years …        






our sailors didn’t wait around 

for Obama to save them when 

Somali pirates boarded 

their ship this week. 

Stop right now or I’ll ask 

the U.N. to remind the 

“international community” 

that “the U.S. is not at war 

with Somali pirates.”        

Gun-toting Americans are 





clearly more self-sufficient 

than the sissy Europeans. 

This is great news for 

everyone except Barney Frank, 

who’s always secretly wondered 

what it would be like to be 

taken by a Somali pirate.        

Police — 




whom I gather liberals intend 

to continue having guns — 

and intrepid U.N. resolution 

drafters can’t be everywhere, 

all the time.        

If a single civilian in that 




Binghamton community 

center had been armed, 

instead of 14 dead, 

there might have only 

been one or two — 

including the shooter. 

In the end, 

the cops didn’t stop Wong. 

His killing spree ended only 

when he decided to stop, 

and he killed himself.        

“The shooter will eventually 





run out of ammo” strategy may 

not be the best one for 

stopping deranged multiple 


But it’s highly unlikely that 





any community center in the 

entire state would be safe 

from a disturbed former 

crack-addict like Wong 

because New York’s restrictive

 gun laws require a citizen to 

prove he has a need for a gun 

to obtain a concealed 

carry permit.        

Instead of having 





Planned Parenthood distribute 

condoms in schools, 

they ought to get the NRA 

to pass out revolvers. 

It would 

save more lives. 









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