_.Put Out The
By the Tokyo Reporter
_____February 22nd, 2010
Japanese male readers eagerly
awaiting the February 15 sales
launch of a magazine named G-Za
Besto Dynamite from KK Bestsellers
will have to bite the bullet a little longer.
Certainly many publications
appeal to real jerks,
but Dynamite was about to stake
claim as the world’s first magazine
to incorporate its own onna hooru
and allow readers to peruse
the lurid contents hands-on,
so to speak.
The reason for the delay,
reports Weekly Playboy (March 8th)
was that the entire consignment
of 50,000 went up in smoke when
a fire erupted in the factory in
China’s Fujian Province.
Fujian is pronounced “Fukken”
but rather than invoking this
particular geographic pun,
Weekly Playboy chose to put
a more lowbrow spin on its headline
“５マンコ. . . が大炎上!!”
(5 c**ts in huge conflagration).
It seems that while
“fifty thousand pieces” is
pronounced goman ko,
the male ear is wont to
automatically alter the
intonation to go manko —
making for an entirely
Could this blaze,
WP asks tongue in cheek,
have been an insidious act of
sexual sabotage to put a damper
on the libidos of tens of
thousands of Japanese males?
came the deadpan reply.
“The fire was caused when
machinery in the factory overheated.”
And unfortunately as the
synthetic vaginas were composed
of high-grade silicone,
they proved particularly vulnerable.
So distressed was a gent involved
in the venture that he tells the
magazine that he’s suffered from
constant diarrhea since
the January 14 disaster.
“The people at the factory
were also distraught,”
“But I heard they’re working
on development of a new vagina
modeled after Zhang Xiaoyu,
who’s one of China’s most famous
if we can pull this one off. . . ”
rolling his eyes in anticipation
of a flood of new orders.
The next issue of Dynamite
is due on the stands April 15.
Instead of a synthetic vagina,
its readers will have to be content
with a free container of skin lubricant.
What a pity this ambitious
sticking in yet another pun.
It purposely alters 沈没 chinbotsu,
meaning “sink” to “チン没,”
which in this context could be
loosely translated as “penis not used.”
“Chugoku Fukken-sho de 5
manko no ona hooru ga daienjo!”
(March 8th, page 169)
__Zhang Xiaoyu 张筱雨